You must take the good with bad!

The other day my post was a downer, I admit it. But that got me thinking. Thinking while I was on the back of a boda boda riding around Kampala. People think missionaries live a great life. Well they are right to some degree. Let me explain.

Most missionaries life in a foreign country. Places in Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe, South America, and so on. While these places are exciting and new there are so many things once faces whiling living there other could not even think of. Illness, harder living conditions, lack of understating to how things work, language barrier, are some of the things that people back home think of. Yes we do deal with these things but so much more. For me, for example, I am living in a country that sees me as a child still. I am 28 years old, have a college education,  am a licensed minster, and living in Africa as a single lady. Out here....that means nothing. I am not a woman until I am married and have children. This also feds into a spiritual battle with me in.  It brings up the age old question of will God bring someone to be a partner with?! This is just one thing people would never think that single missionaries deal with. Well we do.

Missionaries would love to say we have 365 good days out of the year but in reality we are lucky to get a 1/3rd of that. But that dose not mean we do not love what we do.

God has called us here. He has made it all happen to be "on the field." There is joy in knowing that our Father God sees us as worthy (even with all our baggage and sin) to do this work. This helps us over come the bad days (the last post was written on a bad day). The fact  that God is in control hit me while on my boda boda ride this morning. I was sitting on the back of a bike of a guy I know and trust. He met me after I dropped off my SUV to get an oil change. He then drove me to the office and while on the way I saw so much beauty. This beauty started to make the craziness, had moments, and loneliness fade a little.

Photo of the city take from the road next to my flat

Out here I am learning to take the good with the bad. Yes, more often then not there a lot more "bad" than good but it is still worth is. 

Is There Growth?!

So today I think I hit a wall. Not literally but defiantly mentally.

Today I sat with my field supervisor. We looked at my role, how the Short-Term Program is designed, how to implement what I feel called to do, and so much more. It took most of the day (yeah no joke I felt like my head would fall off). After this helpful but long and hard meeting I met with a Team Leader. She was so lovely....but my mind was on over load. Hope what came out of my mouth was cohesive, but truth be told, I am not sure I knew my own name at that point.  

With everything done and even more lists for tomorrow on my desk, I head to the store. Everything in me wanted to just head home but I couldn't. Needed food, air time (phone credit), and petrol for my beast of car.   So, with as much of a smile I could muster up I headed in the store. Got what I needed. Stood in the long lines to check out, guess others were in the same boat I was. I was next in line and this lady with two things came in front of me. I looked at her and she kept moving forward.

Ok, truth time. Inside I was pissed. Ready to tell her I was next and she was more than welcome to go after me, seeing that was her place in line anyways. Mentally I said a prayer it went something like this..."Lord I hope the clerk tells her "no" so I can go. I mean, why can she cut in front of me? We all have to wait our turn. It is what is nice and kind. So help me out here!"(Now reading that.... sounds selfish I know!)

Thankfully I was so tired and out of it I did not say anything (Trust me I could have gone all American on her if I wanted to.) I paid for my things and walked to my car. While I was driving to get petrol I saw all the faces of the workers I knew from the store came to mind. Every time I walk in I greet them, chat for a bit, and thank them for all that they do. (You could say I was thinking I was a good person at this moment in time.)

As I thought about the workers I knew, while getting petrol, I thought again of the thoughts I had in line. They were not of the Spirit. The fruits of the spirit  were NOT shining through me. That started more thinking.....yeah, I too am so lost on how I have any mind power left.

Have I grown at all? Do others see the Lord when they look at me? Do I leave the fragrance of the Lord every where I go? I pray so, but some days I  am not so sure.

Thanks Lord. Thank you for loving me even on my awful no good days. When I see a mess you see your daughter. It is so comforting to know how You hold me in Your hands when I through mine up in the air! Please work in me...for you know how much further I have to go. Amen.

Learning what it would be like.....

For the last 4 days I have been learning. Learning what it would be like if I was a mom, not just a mom of a few sweet souls. Learning what it would be like if I was a mom of 7!

Some of you reading this might be loving the idea of 7 kids running around your home full of laughter, cries, illness, playtime all the while you are watching little souls become who they were created to be by the Father. Others, might be shaking their hear "No!" Maybe that is a big number for some but let me tell you....I am learning how great it is.

My friend has 8 lovely adopted children.  Adopting all these awesome little ones is just one of amazing thing her and her husband felt lead to do. They (as a family)  answered the call to move to Africa as missionaries. Yes, they are out here, in Uganda living for the Lord "on the filed" as a family of 10. They make me excited to see what the Lord might call my family to, one day.

With 8 kids you can guess how busy my friend is. Truth is with living in Africa there is an other side of her busyness no one would think of, yet she does it with rock star status. Well in my eyes at least! To help in a small way, trust me a very small way, I watched 7 of the 8 while she and her hubby dropped the oldest off at boarding school. This is the first to head out to school. For many this is a strange concept but boarding school is conman for MKs. Their oldest is heading to an AIM run school in Kenya. So, while they drove to Kenya, sat through orientation, helped get the dorm room ready, and meet all the school staff I stayed in Uganda with the 7.

There is no way to shear how much I loved, learned, and grew in these 4 days. All I can say is "WOW." Being a mom is work. Work that is so meaningful! Now, understand I am not saying I want 7 of my own.....but you could  say I am more open to it, more now than ever before. Yes, God has yet to join my heart to someone else. I still have many fears about having children in my 30's rather then my 20's. My heart feels called to adopt. But all of this is left to the Lord, for He knows and to be honest I prefer it that way.

But these 4 days have been so meaningful to me. You could say I was given a chance to see what it would be like if the Lord blessed me with this many little ones. 4 days doe not sound like a lot but with 7 running around a lot can happen. Let me try to tell you in a nut shell: Day one- it was day 2 with out mom so everyone was having a hard day. In the middle of the night one jumped in bed with me because her ear was hurting so there was very little sleep. Day2-the ear ache turned into an infection and someone had a fever and tears most of the day. The others had fun while having a water flight. One missed the evening movie because of choosing over and over again to do what he was asked not to do. The night ended with decorating for the birthday the next day. Day3-HAPPY Birthday! We had chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. Everyone was soaked at the end of a water balloon fight, even with some unhappy ones saying the girls cheated. Day ended with Brinner for dinner and Jumangi movie night. Day4- HAPPY Birthday, birthday number 2. After chores we all watched an episode of Adventures in Odassy, and then talked about what we all learned. We also prayed together. We also prayed for the sun to come out so we could head to the pool.....end of the day Mom and Dad came home!

It was a crazy fun filled 4 days. The Lord is good. While He has been teaching me about true womanhood He also has opened the door to  start learn about motherhood.....kinda of scary and yet exciting.  

Did you know....

Did you know that men and women were created in God's image? Yes, I am sure you did. But more over, did you know that we both reflect God is ways the other can't?

God made man, wired him a cretin way, gave him strengths just for him, and put qualities and characteristics in them only they can use to point back to God himself. Just as He did this for man He did the same for woman. There are things inside each  of us, men and woman, that glorify God.  

The qualities in male and female each are an aspect of God. This is so power. It hit me that we are living in a culture that says gender does not matter....but it dose. Each of us, created who we are weather male or female, with our characteristics that were given to glorify our creator. Think about how cool that is.

The world tells us other than the obvious differences, there are no differences between men and women. What a lie. The enemy is great at making us believe we are the same as men. I think Nike helped sell the States on buying into "anything you can do I can do better." Can you remember the male and female athletes going at it, showing how she could do everything he did and do it better. Well, I remember, and as a young girl I thought that was great. Nothing could hold me back.

After moving out to Africa....God has done a number on my heart. He is teaching me what being a woman means by His definition, not the worlds.  Many times before Africa was home Genesis 1 was read and never jumped out at me, well that was until Africa. Now reading it I see things with new eyes, and understand them with a new heart.

Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

He created them! Them meaning both, both of them were created in His image. If God did not prosperously create male and female to point back to Him, this passage would be different. Think about the fact words like mankind, them, as well as male and female were used. There are only two genders that make up mankind. So, why stress over and over THEM?!

I think it is because it stress to us, His creation, we are created in His image and how that shines through men and women differently. Both point back to Him and give Him glory but both do it in different ways. So, yes. Gender does matter.

If you are a man, be proud to be created from the side that shows God's strength, courage, and manly qualities. And also, if you are a woman, then embarrass the fact you reflect the tender, lovely, and creative side of our creator! There is so much beauty within each of us, male and female, that tells the world of our amazing creator! So, let your light for the King shine in the fact you are comfortable being a godly man and or woman.

Father,
Daily show me more and more of how I can reflect your glory, because you have mad me a woman. Give me your heart for other ladies, who are not where I am on this topic. Give me your grace for those who will tell me I am equal to a man in every way. May your word of of truth on womanhood sink deeper and deeper into my mind, heart and, spirit. Amen.

Laugh At Every Moment!

So, yesterday I got pulled over....that kinda normal. Nothing like being flagged down so they try find a reason to fine you. Yesterday it was for a good reason. Well, them telling me about it was but not the fine, but in the end I did not have pay anything. Let me explain from the beginning.

 The traffic cop noted one of my brake-lights was out. Ok, I can understand that and that is a good reason. I kinda wanted to ask him how I was to see it when it is behind me and I prefer to look at the road, but I did not. That was most likely a wise move.

After talking to the officer in Lugnada I was able to dive off without paying the fine. He just told me to get it fixed and thanked me for living in Uganda. That afternoon I asked my Ugandan brother, Godfrey, where I could get a new light. The idea was to not have to head into town to get it. I mean I do not think I could get out of another ticket. He said he was not sure....but would look. Today still no new light. Thought I might have to head into town.... did not want to do that at almost any cost!

As I was leaving the office today I asked Godfrey if he saw a place on his way home to get one and gave him some cash. Pulling out of the office compound another friend, who knew about the light,  stopped me and wanted to know what kind of light it was. Like I knew. But as we were talking I remembered a random bulb in my glove box. I told home to hold on and looked for it. Found it after a few minutes. He laughed and said "this wont work." I said "lets see" and handed him the screwdriver I also keep in my glove box. So we tried it. Guess what...it worked! He was shocked! I let out a very loud African yell! Three of us to change it, but it worked! I ran back to the guesthouse yelling "Godfrey....Gooooooodfreyyyyyyy!"

Godfrey was in the kitchen and surprised to see me. I asked for my cash back....and held out my hand. He was so confused and said "why my sister?"  I informed him I changed the light. His jaw hit the floor! He shook his head no. I said it again and again he did not believe me. So I told him what happened. He laughed at me and said "you always know what to do!" I laughed because I was thinking he was crazy. I never know what to do! But, this time I guess I did. And, come on three people to change a break-light is funny!

So many things make me laugh while living out here and this one had me rolling on the floor! Thanks God for making me with the ability to laugh at myself!

Womanhood Video Note

God is moving in me. It has to be Him. I mean it..come on Cassandra becoming a Proverbs 31 lady?! WOW, that must be the Holy Spirit! Well, folks it is. The Lord has been touching my heart in many areas on this topic. Hope you can enjoy my video note and see what He has been doing in me.

Head-Scarf How 2...

So a few weeks back some of you really wanted to know how I tied my head scarf. After a few takes and giving up on looking good for camera..here you go. Hope it helps you and if you have questions just leave them in the comment section. :)